Stefani Larson (Seals)'s invitation is awaiting your response

Stefani Larson (Seals) would like to connect on LinkedIn. How would you like to respond? Stefani Larson (Seals) Safety Analyst at City of Phoenix/Health and Wealth Coach with Isagenix Confirm you know Stefani You received an invitation to connect. LinkedIn will use your email address to make suggestions to our members in features like People You May Know. Unsubscribe If you need assistance or have questions, please contact LinkedIn Customer Service. © 2014, LinkedIn Corporation. 2029 Stierlin Ct. Mountain View, CA 94043, USA

Stefani Larson (Seals)'s invitation is awaiting your response

Stefani Larson (Seals) would like to connect on LinkedIn. How would you like to respond? Stefani Larson (Seals) Safety Analyst at City of Phoenix/Health and Wealth Coach with Isagenix Confirm you know Stefani You received an invitation to connect. LinkedIn will use your email address to make suggestions to our members in features like People You May Know. Unsubscribe If you need assistance or have questions, please contact LinkedIn Customer Service. © 2014, LinkedIn Corporation. 2029 Stierlin Ct. Mountain View, CA 94043, USA

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn

Stefani Larson (Seals) would like to stay in touch on LinkedIn. Hi Blog Ethan and, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. - Stefani Confirm that you know Stefani Stefani Larson (Seals) Safety Analyst at City of Phoenix/Health and Wealth Coach with Isagenix Phoenix, Arizona Area You received an invitation to connect. LinkedIn will use your email address to make suggestions to our members in features like People You May Know. Unsubscribe This email was intended for Blog Ethan and tommy. Learn why we included this. If you need assistance or have questions, please contact LinkedIn Customer Service. © 2014, LinkedIn Corporation. 2029 Stierlin Ct. Mountain View, CA 94043, USA

The lanterns

My sweet little boys.  You have been on my mind so much lately.  My heart is rejoicing over the hopes of finally getting to bring a baby home, but at the same time, it makes my heart yearn even more for the things that we missed not having you.  I am watching the moving Tangled.  In it, the King and Queen realize lanterns each year on the birthday of the missing princess.  The artists in the movie depicted such sadness on the King's face, that this time, it really hit me.  My heart is still sad.  It still yearns so much for you.  I know it always will, even through the happy things in life. The lanterns that they lit, reminded me of the balloons we release on you birthday.  I realized in the movie, they were morning the 18 years she had been gone and I realized how hard those special birthdays would be.  The days when we realize that you should have started school, you should have been baptised, you should have started driving and then graduating, and serving missions, etc.  I just miss you both so much.  I know its a stupid movie, but it really hit me this time (even though I have watched it a million times).  It makes me so very grateful for eternal families!!!  And now we have a new reason to be grateful for families.  You both are going to be big brothers.  Everything in this adoption has truly fallen into place as it is supposed to.  I am sure that our little guardian angels up there (you) are helping to move the pieces into place.  I am so grateful for the gift you were and are in my life, but I miss you so much!  Help me to be strong.  Help me to be a good mother.  I miss you so much and I love you so much!

Always in my heart.

missing you so much

My sweet boys, I dont know what my problem is, but life has been much harder to bare without you lately. I have been missing you an awful lot, and the continuation of our lack of children has been outright hideous. It seems like everyone in our ward and other friends and families are pregnant and/or having children. I had a bad breakdown during church last week. I seriously cried the entire time. I have felt so lonely. Even your poor father simply cannot understand my heartache. I must appear so crazy to others and even I sometimes feel that I might go crazy with my desire, with envy and with the need to be a mother. I do have continue to say however, that despite my loneliness, I know that Heavenly Father has not left me alone. Last week during church as I was sitting there sobbing, our sweet little friend Rylee (who is 3 years old) was sitting there playing with your dad. She loves him so much and generally doesnt really pay much attention to me when he is around. She came up to me and asked to be picked up and just snuggled me for like 20 minutes. She didnt move or wiggle or want to get down. She just hugged me and let me hold her. It was incredibly sweet and truly touched my heart. But it also reminded me how much my arms long for a little one to hold; a child to help me to feel more complete, especially at times when I am missing you so much! No one can ever replace you, no one can ever take your place, but I desire children with all my heart and soul. It is my greatest want and need. I love you little boys so very much. I miss you so very much. Lets hope your poor mother doesnt go crazy between now and sweet eternity when I can hold you again. Be good my sweet boys. All my love.

Bereavement Donations

It was very important to us to try to do something positive in Ethan and Tommy's memory for their birthday. We decided that it was most beneficial to "pay forward" the gifts of love and support that we received during the hardest time of this trial (right after the birth and the loss). When I was in the hospital delivering the Boys, I received a huge outpouring of gifts. Most of the gifts came from the hospital. The gifts were a variety of mementos and keepsakes to help us preserve the memory of our sons such as a scrapbook, pictures, picture frames, candles, beanies, blankets, etc. Those precious items have become very special and sacred to me because they remind me of my sweet babies. We decided that we would celebrate the Boys' birthday by making a donation in their honor to help show love and support to other Mothers and families that would have to endure the hardships that we have gone through. I was incredibly blessed to be able to request for donations from our Ward Relief Society, the entire Police Department where I work, and our dear family and friends. We were completely stunned by the outpouring of love and generosity we received on behalf of our sweet babies. Over several months we collected a huge amount of items to donate in loving memory of Ethan and Tommy.

This was a gift basket for the loss of twins

I was also able to make little scrapbooks to give as gifts to the Mother's so that the special moments and information might be able to be preserved in a way that was cute and ready to share.  Each scrapbook contained 5 tags that pulled out to reveal different poems about the loss of a baby.  These poems were my absolute favorites that i have found and helped to share my thoughts and feelings about the loss of my sons.

We are absolutely so grateful to everyone who donated items, money and time to help to make this possible and such a special event in our lives.  I truly hope that the loss of our Sons and our family's sacrifice may be able to bless and benefit others, even if it is in dealing with a tragic loss of their own. Thank you!

Happy Birthday Ethan and Tommy

It is hard to believe that it has already been a year since we lost our sweet boys.  The days approaching their first birthday were incredibly difficult ones as we prepared to celebrate their memory. Eldon and I decorated their plot.  Because it was December it was important that they have a Christmas tree and gifts, but we also needed the balloons for all to know it was their birthday.  On their big day, we a balloon release in their honor.  "Sending our love to Heaven".  In good Seals' family fashion it became a competition to see whose balloon could reach Heaven first.  It was actually quite sweet and entertaining and definitely lifted the somber mood.

Following the balloon release, family and friends joined us for dinner at our home. It was a very sweet day and I am incredibly grateful for everyone who supported us, both on Ethan and Tommy's birthday and over the past year.  The love and support we received has made all the difference in the world to us, and we know that we are truly blessed with incredibly people in our lives.  Thank you to everyone and Happy Birthday to my sweet darlings!